"The Scream"

Lips that taste of tears, they say,
Are the best for kissing.
~Dorothy Parker

It was like a cry for help, an awakening, a deeper insight to another person’s pain and hurts. It was a reflection of my youth, the long journey of life that has seen love and love lost, deaths and new life.

I read my brother’s new blog today and it moved me. His talent and ability to write so beautifully astounds me. I am blown away. I suppose, my parents never knew that they gave birth to three children who loved their words. Children who expressed themselves the best through visuals and through language. Creativity has played a large role in our growing up days, and although it seems that since coming home, I scarce can find time or energy to focus on growing my talents, I know it still lives in me. It lives in all three of us.

There are days in our lives where we feel lost. Without any sense of direction and no meaning to life, we plod on. Our eyes blinded by the seemingly important things in our life – work, money, friends, we forget those most important and dear to our lives. In the 2 weeks my parents went on their exotic trip to the Mediterranean, I spent time with my grandmother. Together with my siblings, we worked hard to make her smile once more. It has been 4 long sad months for my grandmother. She lost her best friend, her confidante, the one person in life that she would lay down HER life for. It brought great happiness to listen to her speak, and at the same time, saying our goodbyes left a bittersweet taste in my mouth. One day, she would be gone too. And our entire family will come together once more. This time, to mourn the great loss of a wonderful woman – Granny.

My grandmother isn’t a nag. She is polite, never demanding, never rude. She taught us to always be true to ourselves, our religion, our family and to watch our manners. She taught us that it important, be it rich of poor, to be honest in whatever we do. Never get ahead if the means you have to lie to be someone. She taught me that it was sometimes better not to say something hurtful, then to say it. Beauty is from within, and she is one of the most beautiful ladies in the world to me. To us.

In the week my parents were gone, I spent more time with my siblings. I listened to them, I watched over them. I was not always there with them, but it felt good to know that we have each other to rely on. Life has gone back to how it always is, and I don’t want to lose grip of what we have. I need to keep reaching out. Time is of the essence, and like grains of sand in an hourglass, they slip through our fingers and out of our lives. Forever. No amount of money or pleading can bring the past back to us. And it’s good that way. We live and we learn. I’m learning to appreciate who I have now and to let them know that I do care. The day will come when I will lose them, and they will in turn lose me.

But until then, I will care.