It's a new life -- is it really?

1 April, 2013. Wow, how quickly time has flown by. I just got back from Chelle's 30th birthday, and Barry (Shan's 2nd half) asked how long I've been back and isn't it quick.

And so it has. I can't believe that I got back end June, 28 if I remember correctly, and that really it's been nine whole freaking months that I've been living in Singapore. Hard to believe, considering there are some days I just feel like it's all so new and different. Deedee's been with the Ees for now nearly eight months. Wow. So meaning Integra and I bid farewell a really REALLY long while ago.

Doing a brief scan of my situation now. How can I best describe what I'm going through, what I'm feeling at this point, this minute of my life. Let's see.. Maybe it'll be best to back track to a year ago, and what life was like then.

A year ago...

I was living in Melbourne, with Val and Clare and little Dustee. My life revolved around creating beautiful dishes for the three of us. For keeping dustee well shorn, and looked after. My days were filled with cycles down to St Kilda, to Brighton, to Port Melbourne... to evening long runs by the Tan. Or sometimes down to the Yarra River, to Albert Park... and then back home. Home to a little cozy two bedder along Dorcas Street. Yes, I had bills to pay, responsibilities to look after, and sometimes it felt like nothing much was going on. My relationship for one was something I had started to question just several months before.

Val kept me happy. She was someone that truly understood me. But more than just understanding me, she lived to keep me happy, and when I was happy, she was happy...and we generally kept a happy life together. Going for date nights, trying new food, having squabbles over Dustee's pee, Clare's unkept cup in the sink. We had our evening smokes, and our weekend laughs. We hung out with a group of gay boys, with my colleagues at Tourism Vic. We hung out with each other. It seemed that no matter how long we had been together, or how much time we spent together, we had so much to talk about. She wanted to share her dreams with me. And I wanted to share mine with her too. I wasn't afraid to tell her my innermost thoughts, or let her see me at my most vulnerable self.

But inside, I wondered if this was the right path. You see, my parents would never ever accept this life. They would never accept her. Or be able to see how happy she made me. My friends knew. They saw everything, and they loved her. As much as I loved her, sometimes I felt. We weren't afraid to tell each other we loved each other. We weren't afraid to show each other we loved each other. We wanted to travel the world together, to go great lengths. We wanted a life together.

And then, just like that. I decided to end it. I ended us. Called it off, just like that. Snap. Liz went through some cold feet moment after five years and chickened out. It hurt. I know it hurt her, and it sure did hurt me. It's soon going to be a year that it really ended but I still cry. And I still hurt. Does it cross my mind that I let something so precious go? Of course it does. Do I stop and wonder what life would be like if I hadn't gone and done it? Yes, for certain. Do I regret it? To that, I must admit I don't know. Because she could have given me the world, and me, I couldn't give her that back. Because of how my situation is.

I started this blog when we went to Cambodia. One of our first travels together. And a very special memory to me.

Now, one year on...

I'm with someone else. He's a guy, and he's my age and while he's special it just isn't the same. I question myself and my choice every day. I wonder whether I am over thinking things with him, or whether I just had a connection so deep and pure before that I can't reach that with anyone else. Ever, again. I keep telling myself to go easy on him. To let time take its course, and with each day together we can see through our issues,... But I'm getting tired of having to repeat this in my head and in my heart.

This blog was started for Us. And Us has ended... But this blog will continue. In it I will pen new memories, and new words for these memories. I have to give myself a chance to live again. To carve new journeys and to look ahead and never look back. I used to always be forward looking. I used to be carefree and fun loving and bubbly. I sometimes feel I've lost that part of me that keeps me happy.

And through this blog...and through my words, I hope to find it back.

Good night sunrise travellers.. I hope to start writing in you again, because maybe I need to get my outlet back.

Until the next post. x

Sweet Fetish.

I've got a sweet fetish. Funny for the girl who isn't really into chocolate (unless its dark and delicious and super fine) and doesn't go for lollies. But of late - and it could be cos the weather is warming up - I've developed a strong craving for sweet not savory brunch items.

I thought given I brunch practically every week, that I should capture my granola sweet fixes. And on the days I order a more sinful sweet treat like pancakes, French toast or oats with honey & poached fruits, I'll do a post about that too!

Today we had brunch at The Brix, it's a kinda cool fit out, French what else, where you enter off Brunswick Street in Fitzroy. Erm. But the entrance is really along Westgarth St so it would have helped my poor lost friend if there was some kinda notice that led her to the said venue. Ah well. These "hidden gems" always want to be discovered. A Melbourne trait I suppose.

The brekkie menu runs until 12.30pm, with lunch starting at 1pm. Thankfully we were there for breakfast and I chose the granola option. I shan't bother about the other diner's details cos I'm selfish and writing this post because I thought, hey maybe I should just jot down my likes and lesser liked granola/muesli finds. So that's what I'm doing now.

I chose the one cereal option on their breakfast menu. It was very oat lacking but on the upside, heaped with sticky dried fruit and my fave, nuts and seeds. The granola was supposed to be served with buttermilk but they gave me almond milk instead (weird choice) and a serve of apple juice. Personally would have preferred a dollop of yoghurt instead as the double liquid made everything all so runny. Bah. Not saying it was a bad granola it was tasty but there was so much fruit it ended up sticking all over my teeth. Kinda made it hard for me to chat too.



Last week I had the unfortunate chance of having a gluten free muesli at St Edmonds along Greville St, Prahran. They had two options, a standard muesli and a bircher muesli. Next time I'm sticking with the bircher. Gluten free muesli was served with a lovely organic yoghurt and topped with poached pears but the actual muesli was so full of puffed bits that I just found each bite so aerated. Ecks. Not sure how coeliac disease sufferers do it but I really found it hard to swallow. The rest of the dish was lovely. I will go back but I'll try the Bircher next time for sure!





A few weeks back, a group of us cycled to My Sister Says, off Bay street in Port Melbourne. I love how there are so many cute non pretentious cafes in the South side. I orders the granola which came served in an adorable pot filled with fresh yoghurt. On the side was another little pot of homemade jam (ooh love!!), a semi boiled egg and some little soldiers toast. I could have done without the egg and toast although in all this was a really satisfying tasty brekkie!






Have to say though, in the last month my best muesli breakfast was at the Farm Cafe, Collingwood's Children Farm. We adore the Farmers Market so a few weeks ago when it was at CCF we decided to have a mid-morning bite at the on farm cafe. I ordered their muesli which not only was a really generous portion but came with a big serve of yoghurt and fresh jam to swirl through. Mmmmm. Yum. Toasted oats with chunks of lightly honey roasted nuts. Crunchy goodness. I loved it!

I'm looking forward to next weekend and discovering another granola gem. Some may say it's silly so pay $8-12 for granola outside of home and I say it's ok to treat yourself once a week. I do have my regular Carmen's muesli, kapai puku seeds, yoghurt and jam on normal days but my weekends r about enjoying this yummy treat in a different setting and a different style.

What is your favourite granola spot?

Until my next post. X

My virgin Segway experience.

Segway tour at Rochford Winery




I was invited to attend the Segway Tour launch at Rochford Winery as part of work and was given my five mins of adrenaline test riding(driving?!) a Segway. Boy. Is it a lot harder than it looks!

Fiona who runs the 'html'><div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'><b>Segway tour at Rochford Winery</b><br/>I was invited to attend the Segway Tour launch at Rochford Winery as part of work and was given my five mins of adrenaline test riding(driving?!) a Segway. Boy. Is it a lot harder than it looks! <br/><br/>Fiona who runs the $140 tour + lunch with hubby Terry said to me it's all in your hips. You use your hip movement to bring yourself forwards, backwards and sideways. To get off when you're feeling wobbly, just jump off rather than force yourself to try and stabilize. <br/><br/>Easier said than done. I couldn't understand how all the men who looked much older than me could whiz around so easily. Obviously my balance isn't as fab as I thought it was. <br/><br/>I'm thinking of booking this experience in because one can do a Segway Tour in the morning, lunch at Rochford and then drive around the Valley for a delish lunch. Ping! I wonder which friends would be up for this!<span id='BB_SIGN_BEGIN'><img alt='BlogBooster-The most productive way for mobile blogging. BlogBooster is a multi-service blog editor for iPhone, Android, WebOs and your desktop' src='http://theblogbooster.com/pixel.gif' style='border:none;'/></span></div>40 tour + lunch with hubby Terry said to me it's all in your hips. You use your hip movement to bring yourself forwards, backwards and sideways. To get off when you're feeling wobbly, just jump off rather than force yourself to try and stabilize.

Easier said than done. I couldn't understand how all the men who looked much older than me could whiz around so easily. Obviously my balance isn't as fab as I thought it was.

I'm thinking of booking this experience in because one can do a Segway Tour in the morning, lunch at Rochford and then drive around the Valley for a delish lunch. Ping! I wonder which friends would be up for this! Any keen takers?

Monday Night Pasta

Monday again. How quickly the weekend flies by and it's back to the daily drill of 9-5+ work days. Ho hum. Nothing too exciting happening on that front, i must admit. The only enjoyment (mostly) I get on weekdays is really at the end of the day when Im back home and standing at my stove, wondering what to prepare for Snail and Pig.

Today was different though. Today I ventured into work on my lovely Papillionaire Dutch style Powder blue Sommer two-wheeler and pondered the evening's delectable menu. Hmm,what was 1) simple, 2) quick and 3) involved minimal washing up afterwards? The answer wasn't too hard to come by.

Pasta of course! So here is my very easy, lazy Monday chop chop Kali pop (go see a Singlish dictionary) tomato based pasta.

Ingredients
Enough pasta for the number of people eating. I like to use big spirals as it holds the chunkiness well and tastes great with tomato bases
One large onion or several medium ones
Several cloves of garlic
Pepper - freshly cracked black
Sugar
Salt - I used Murray River pink salt
Fresh sausages - I used herb & garlic free range fresh sausages from my local market
1 can of Italian tomatoes
Fresh oregano leaves
Good quality extra virgin olive oil
Optional: spring onions finely chopped

Steps:
Boil a pot of water and salt it
While the water is boiling, dice the onion and garlic finely
If you're using spring onions, dice these too. A tip is to try and get the ingredients the same size so they cook evenly
Heat a large pan (I used a wok!) and a good amount of olive oil. Take care not to let the oil start smoking as that means it's burning and there'll be a weird taste in your food. My pan is Tefal so the red spot alerts me to when the pan is hot enough
Toss the onions and garlic (not the spring onions) into the pan and let it cook on medium heat until softened
By now the water should be boiling so add your pasta noodles to the water
Back to the pan/wok, using your hands squeeze the filling out of the sausages directly into the pan and use your ladle to break it up into smaller pieces depending on whether you like it chunky
Lightly fry the sausage mixture until gently browned and then add the canned tomatoes.
Make sure you use the ladle to break up the tomatoes especially if you're using whole ones
Lower the heat and let simmer.
The pasta should be cooked by now so drain it in a colander but retain some of the pasta water
Taste in between and season with salt, sugar and pepper to your liking. Continue to simmer for about 5-10min before throwing in the torn oregano leaves (and spring onion if you're using).
Cook further for another 2-3 mins and then add the drained pasta into the tomato mixture: toss to coat the pasta well, adding any pasta water if needed
Switch off the heat and dish into serving bowls. Scatter with toasted pine nuts and shaved Parmesan. (optional of course!)

Voila! Quick and easy pasta for those Monday morning blues. Bon qppetit!

Grandma's Egg Dish

GeoTagged, [S37.83096, W144.96906]

Today is singapore's curry day- due to a recent highlighting of a curry saga between a mainland Chinese family v a Singaporean Indian family, everyone is up and arms with the peaceful Facebook led Cook a pot of curry protest.

I'm not a bad Singaporean, not in my own opinion. While I love curry (all sorts mind you) i cooked a spicy pot of dry beef curry (nonya influence.) on Thursday and I am curried out. It did leave my kitchen smelling beautifully of curry,spices and coconut milk. Not an aroma you want around everyday.

So today I'm making my grandma's egg dish that was a treat to us when we were little. Its a simple steamed egg and mince dish, that was so tasty that it can be eaten on it's own. No sauce soups or gravies needed. Yes, that delicious.

This is my own little recipe that I adapted from grandma's. I added a little extra for that personal touch, and it is tasting super. :)

Ingredients:
Mince pork - the amount depends on how many other dishes u serve. I used about 300g
Prawn meat (raw) - I had about 100g which I minced finely with a knife. Can also substitute with raw crab meat,shredded
Soy - light
Shao Xiang rice wine - a dash
Sesame oil - to your liking
Egg - enough to cover the prawn mince mixture
Spring onions - finely chopped
Pepper and five spice powder

Steps:
Mix the prawn and pork mince together well.
Add a good dash of light soy and sesame oil, a teaspoon of rice wine and mix
Season with five spice and pepper
Add the beaten eggs
Add chopped spring onions and mix well
Put into a heat resistant bowl and pop over a steamer
While this is steaming, do other things like prep veg, cook rice
You'll know when it is done when you poke a hole in the set egg mixture and it runs clear.
Voilà!

Serve with hot steamed Jasmine rice, veggies. And makan!!!

I find that this recipe is so simple but so gratifying. The flavours take me back to a time when i hadn't a worry in the world, and after lunch granny would bring me out to the playground.

So yes, while it's not my mom's famous curry recipe that I should be posting today, I'm still cooking up a delicious Singaporean dish! Bon appetit!

Day 2: Running Club Success!

Ok so I'm sticking to my fitness regime, or as they say "lifestyle overhaul" and I am feeling fab. I think that's definitely the endorphins rushing through my brains. I'm hooked. Hooked on the buzz of feeling fresh sweat prickling my skin and that ever so gentle burn on the back of my calves. Loving my 2XU http://www.2xu.com/pwx/ compression pants, they are the best sports purchase (apart from a good sports bra, of course) I have bought. Then again, my saucony runners are pretty damn fine. Think I'll give them another six months and replace my trainers at the end of the year.

Today, we ran two laps around Melbourne's Botanical Gardens, or what's also called The Tan by the locals. I'm used Map My Run http://www.mapmyrun.com afterwards - stupidly, I could've actually used it WHILE running which would save me this process of calculating the distance traveled and corresponding calories burned afterwards - and it was about 9++kms. Wow! Not too bad considering we had a bit of chit chat, and factored in a short sprint... Lovely. We skipped the incline though, as we're building up our stamina for Thursday, for when we do two rounds but up the slope. All this in preparation for Sunday's 10kms. Fun!!!

Anyhoo. Here's to more days of running club!! I'm so psyched to have found a few running buddies. Hopefully the group will grow and grow and we'll all keep encouraging each other to keep healthy and fit. :)

Lifestyle overhaul.

And the temperature today soared above 20degrees. Strange indeed for August month, when winter chills are supposed to be wrapping the city and people still black and gloomy in winter wear. Today, I saw streets lined with shorts and singlets, slippers and stocking-less legs. Surprisingly, didn't catch sight of any overgrown legs or armpits. Big phew.

Ok.... so you know what this time of the year means. Time to whip out the wax and strip off the fuzz. Dig out that almost moldy bottle of fake tan and slap on after a cool shower. Time to dust off those runners and squeeze into those XS pair of 2XU (goddammit why the HELL do i listen to sales girls who insist on me buying the tiniest size when it is obvious that it only covers part of my dear ass), and hit the tarmac. Time to whittle off the weight, and time to give myself that annual "lifestyle overhaul".

Yep. It's time to bring on the healthy eats. Home made, store bought, potlucked. Whatever it is, i've got to start imposing self control and while I'm not going to count calories (and I swear I will try my hardest not to turn into a compulsive apple/celery muncher) I am going to make a concerted effort to be diligent about my diet. What diet you say? Liz all you do is eat! Your life revolves around eating, shopping for food, eating out, cooking, reading recipe books, heck, your favorite channel is Lifestyle Food so, hello, are you removing your first love from your daily ritual?

Erm. No. Actually I'm not... I can't give up food, because after 28 long years on this earth I have decided that I am one who lives to eat. I will never ever eat simply to live. Life is way too short and precious to go through it not tasting the fruits of one's labour. And by that, I mean rewarding through gratifying meals. So, I'm making a pact. A pact I'm hoping to keep to myself not just now, but through summer, next winter and in the years to come. I'm going to watch what I eat, and do my darnest to break cheeky eating habits (like sneaking in the odd chip or chocolate) and replace it with fresh fruit and veggie or water instead.

TARGET WEIGHT BY SUMMER: 52KG

Day one: 3 August 2011

Weight 56.5kg

Height 165cms

Size 8-10 varies depending on cut

Breakfast: Oats and honey

Naughty sneak: 3 x maltesers

Lunch: Banh Mi aka Vietnamese Pork Salad Roll on a wholemeal bun. Extra pate and extra chilli

Naughty drinks: 2 x skinny lattes (comes with mini choco meringues)

Naughty after gym: 1 x banana (frigging $2.33 can!?)

Dinner: Fried rice with capsicum peppers, minced pork, sausage

Naughty after dinner: Whole grain chips (handful)

Good: Bowl of cherries, lots of water

Workout: Run for 15mins on treadmill, ave speed 9.2km/hr, one hour Body Pump, walk to and from work

VERDICT? Ok, so I haven't been a complete angel today which is a pity. Have to do better tomorrow....Good night people. I am sleepy!!!